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Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy

That little tingle vodka gives me in my esophagus is what lets me know I’m still alive. The other day a close friend told me to live every day like I’m dying. Okay. Today’s first activity: cough up blood.

 Happy Fuck Buddy Friday!!!!

 While I spend today living it like it is my last, I turn over this post to Victor at Show Your Mind. Victor is sharing his personal tip sheet on being a successful fuck buddy. Now remember, these are merely his suggestions to help you keep getting in it the ass.  By no means is it the last word on the subject. But if you want to be my fuck buddy (or currently are) you better pay attention! (Yeah, talking to you Mungus).

  Now if you want to fuck Victor, better take note (Snatch is good at taking notes Vic, don’t worry).  And if you have been fucking Victor these rules most likely look familiar. He probably created them on account of all the fucked up things you did wrong to ruin a perfectly good fuck buddy situation!

Victor’s Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy

  • I didn’t come over to spend time with you or go to dinner. I came over to satisfy our primitive desires. Don’t throw on a movie unless you have no intention of watching it.
  •  We are not friends(friends with benefits are different), we are fuck buddies. This relationship exists for sex, don’t clog it up with a friendship or relationship, this only ends in feelings being hurt.
  • Don’t make sex more then it is. It is just sex and not a big deal. Fuck buddies require a certain amount of sexual maturity and confidence, always be sure to create these relationships with other people who can handle it.
  • This isn’t fuck and tell. This isn’t about some great story or telling your friends, this is our business keep it to ourselves.
  • Don’t call/text me while the sun is up, spend time with the sun up around folks you care about, not with me. Obviously not everyone works days but the point is this is all about sex, not spending time together. This is a sun down relationship, heels up relationship.
  • Warn me when you are gaining feelings, and communicate your thoughts.
  • Gain a code for sex with each fuck buddy. Everyone has their own little quirk. A woman I know use to send me an “I’m cold will you warm me up?”
  • You are not seeing anyone. You aren’t kind of in a relationship, you are just fucking. You are free to see whoever you want and they are too.
  • No more then 3 sessions a week, anymore and you are spending too much time together. If you want someone to fuck everyday find a relationship.
  • Always wear protection! I don’t care if they say they aren’t seeing anyone else. Protect yourself at all times, you aren’t in a relationship.
  • Define it as a fuck buddy relationship. Definition is very key in any relationship but it is especially true in fuck buddies. People can gain feelings but definition helps lay down the rules early on. If you don’t want a relationship and they do this isn’t going to be a good start. 

That is kind of the basic thought I take on with Fuck buddies. I avoid anything that can lead to a relationship, that means spending time together, staying over, eating together, going out, etc. I make sure that it is an arrangement defined and kept private. I let them know that it is a relationship that requires controlling your emotions, all about having good sex, and it requires sexual confidence and maturity.

About snarkysnatch

Rants and raves from the spinning mind of an online dating survivor. My life reflects a jumbled mess of gains and losses in my efforts to grow. Mantra: “The greatest oak was once a little nut who held its ground.”

85 responses to “Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy

  1. Kyle

    Awesome – as always

  2. wobsy ⋅

    Nothing if not succinct!
    Do you allow time for communication? I’m a big believer in good sex being built on good transfer of desires, needs, cravings, opinions, suggestions for improvement, &c. (I covered this in “Amused Man” – I can’t remember if you read it?)
    good post
    Rob.

    • The sex better be good. That is all the relationship is all about. If it isn’t good then move on. Communication and knowledge are the key to being a good sexual partner. If they don’t have that you either need to teach them that(they must be open minded) or find another one, this one ain’t working out.

      • ecadet

        Interesting points can’t say I’m a fan of tips or rules for fuck buddies or friends with benefits or any relationship for that matter I go with the terms I’m comfortable with and my partner is comfortable with. So if I wanna f**k 4 or 5 times that week and he’s down I’m SOOO doing it. I attempted to have a sex buddies/friends with benefits thing with a guy but after 2 months of him putting me off I had to go for good. He acted like it was what he wanted but we never had a single booty call, phone sex or even skype sex. That’s where communication is important. If we are gonna f**k ONLY make it worth my while. As long as I’m satisfied I will make it my business to keep u satisfied..exhausted and satisfied.

  3. Hahaha is there a rule to how many “fuck buddies” one is allowed to have? Not that I’m interested. Just curious.

    • Na, I had 3 at once for a minute. That was the purpose of the thought on you are not in a relationship. That is all the purpose of protection.

      • Why are you so anti-relationship?

      • I’m not against relationships. This was a tips sheet for fuck buddies. There are plenty of girls I would be in a relationship with, but when I think about a relationship I think long term. I want to do the whole wife and kids one day. If a woman doesn’t want that, there is only one option if there is still an attraction and that is sex. Sometimes repeating sex, that becomes fuck buddies.

        If I find a dope fun girl you bet your ass I’m going to look for a relationship, but only if we have alignment in sex(yes a huge ordeal to any relationship), thoughts on the future, and compatibility. Otherwise it is really just a waste of both of our times. Note: Connections are easy to make, so I don’t care to say oh but we had a connection. I can manufacture that with ease.

        I also am not willing to just settle, there are too many fish in the sea for me to be like oh she is cute, I can date her. No I won’t just settle for someone, I refuse to.

        At the same time I’m not going to refuse a sex life simply because I don’t want to date a woman long term. Jumping from shitty relationship to shitty relationship looking for something not there. That is just full of negative emotion that I refuse to deal with. Why can’t I just have good sex?

  4. "Paradox S" ⋅

    This very much true! If you lay down the rules and they both make it about fucking (not just fucking but creative exciting fucking) you might have yourself a wonderful FB!

  5. Edge ⋅

    Had a guaranteed, sure thing, hot n heavy first date passonate physical rendezvous on the schedule for TONIGHT. Exciting and new … BUT she is simply not my type and never will be.

    Since she has made it abundantly clear via email that I am HER type and that she seeks a relationship with me (yes, how could she be so sure) the only gentle, semi-honorable thing to do was take a page out of the book you girls use and send the following txt at dawn, well in advance of said first date : ” Woke up with the flu this morning … ”
    (Couldn’t use the line from the “monthly visitor” page, I determined.)

    So … never the twain shall meet (this is one of those long-term flu things, probably not survivable). At least my thoughtful 12 hrs notice will give us both a chance to find another Friday night diversion. In theory.

    Oh shit, it’s Friday night …

    • LOL- I just tell them what I’m looking for. I find a nice way of saying sorry doll, you are a cool chick, but I’m not looking for anything but sexual company currently. I guess I have the confidence to be pretty direct. I rarely lie to a girl, communication is so important at this stage. I do have tact and I do have charisma when letting them down, but I don’t lie.

      Just tell her she seems like she’d be fun but you don’t want to hurt her feelings because you aren’t looking for anything more than a sexual relationship. Pretty simple pretty easy.

      • Edge ⋅

        Sure, but none of what you are saying makes for human comedy … which, in blog format, allows me to comment on the methods used (on us) by the girls we so cherish and so hotly pursue. Turnabout, fair play?

    • Sorry to hear about Miss Doughgirl not making the cut. I know how much you looked forward to injecting her with your Vitamin D elixir.

      I would actually offer a consoling shoulder to cry on but I might need it myself. Just got home from hospital 10 minutes ago. Wish I could say a sexually induced injury was the cause for my late night admittance but that wasn’t the case luv. All this bed rest is a perfectly good waste of a vagina. Then again, I have no buddy to fuck this Friday as I am on a vaginal cock detox and since my I Just Called To Say Fuck You post….. Jake no longer reads my blog. Yep. Kat lost another one.

      Please do not give up dear heart in your quest to find woo. For I wish to live through your cock vicariously and experience your succulent fruit selections picked right from the vine… while I nurse my stitches and my heart.

  6. ah, thanx kat for sharing victor (i will now be checking out his work)…
    and victor, thanx for being a man who knows how to do the fuck buddy thing…i had quite a harem of these glorious things in texas, but west virginian men seem to not be able to do it…i set the rules, and they break them every time…they are always making more out of shit, and occasionally i have been a fool and got caught up with their words/actions, then they turn around and accuse me of starting it…frustrating…
    where are the men here who know how to do it right? geez…
    next one i get (well, i am kinda pursuing a relationship thingie this second, but i am sure to ruin that soon), i will have him read your rules and tell him that’s how i feel,lol…

    • Pretty simple you let them know they violated the rules of the intended relationship and you guys will no longer be interacting. If someone has issue with it ignore them. They aren’t what you are looking for and you let them know in a nice manner where you remove the blame from them. It isn’t your fault I can’t be in a relationship, I got things to work on and this was a relationship intended to satisfy my sexual hunger.

  7. Love this! Straight with no chaser!!! WOW!!!

  8. My husband and I started as a cross between fuck buddies and FWB. We lived together, roommates with another couple, before we stated fucking. That’s how we met. So it was hard to be fuck buddies instead of FWB when you live together. One thing lead to another, we started fucking after a drunken Halloween night… Damn near 10 years later, we are married with three kids. But we still have great sex and I completely relate it to the fact that our relationship started as a sexual one, with no strings attached. It was all about pleasure and getting each other off…

    Great post! Really, REALLY, good advise if you have a fuck buddy… I love this “Warn me when you are gaining feelings, and communicate your thoughts” — communication is key, even if you are only fuck buddies. Following this will keep you from being hurt or the other guy from being like “What the fuck just happened to a good thing?”

    • Thanks for the love, I am glad so many people agree with it. Yeah, I couldn’t think of a way to put it better because we need to know about feelings and at the same time we need to know what they are thinking. It is very important that things are open, this is the most direct relationship you can have.

      The intentions are forward and boundaries are laid down, however we are human and so we gain emotional attachment. It is understandable and almost expected. Let’s face it the best sex is very passionate and connection building, it’s hard not to gain a serious amount of attachment to someone who grants you so much pleasure.

      It is so important to be up front so you know when to stop it and when to continue, or even when it can become much more then a purely sexual relationship.

  9. Artificer ⋅

    awesome post! you are right, not everyone knows or abides by “the rules.” i wish more people knew these rules. moreover, i wish more women stuck to these rules. but, my experiences have been that my fuck buddies do not last long because they usually get strong feelings and change the terms of the relationship without notifying me or sharing with me that their feelings have changed.

    • Wow! Haven’t visited this thing forever.

      Yes it is difficult to be in a fuck buddy relationship, not many people can handle it. It’s difficult to find someone with the correct outlook on sex and the maturity to pull it off.

      Thank You for the love.
      Victor
      (formerly ShowYourMind)

  10. tasha ⋅

    Reading this makes me laugh because thats exactly what I said to my current fuck buddy, at first that’s what we did yeah I would stay over but leave early with out a kiss goodbye or anything but now its getting weird last 2 times we did it he wants to talk more watch t.v sometimes just wants to sleep and it confuses the crap out of me, yeah I’m a women but I’m just not ready for a relationship and I don’t know maybe I’m over thinking it but is this guy who I don’t even consider a friend starting to catch feelings for me? Should I run for it, sex is great Gimmie some feedbackkk

    • This is way late but anytime someone wants to spend time with you it is him catching feelings for you, especially if the two of you are already sexually active. If you do not want more from someone in this situation I suggest you discontinue being his fuck buddy, this is why you never spend the night.

      It’s important to realize that your time spent together should be limited to one thing, sex. That is the only point of this type of relationship. If you are sleeping together you are distorting the relationship yourself. Stop immediately.

      Good Luck on future fuck buddy Relationships

      Victor
      (formerly ShowYourMind)

  11. Yeah, good rules! There’s no way I’d want a fuck buddy though, too unemotional for me, I like sex with the lot.

    • It takes a ton of sexual maturity to enjoy a purely sexual relationship. If you have a good fuck buddy there should be a ton of pure physical raw attraction. The sex should be passionate, open and fun. The sex can have emotion(the best sex does), it’s the relationship outside of sex that shouldn’t have emotion.

  12. NeedsAdvice ⋅

    I currently have three fuck buddies. Personally I think a sexual relationship is all I need and want at the moment. I am not looking for a serious relationship. However, one of my fuck buddies became really close friends with me, and we started doing things together outside of fucking, like going to parties, bars, and clubs, studying at the library together, watching shows, playing beer pong, eating breakfast together the next morning, now we text daily. And I am freaking out because I think I am developing an attachment to him. And I don’t know what to do because he is an amazing friend and I want to remain friends with him but I don’t know how I will be able to resist having sex with him now (especially if we drink together). And I know if i remain friends with him and we continue having sex I will start to develop feelings for him and he may for me, so one of us will get hurt or we will start dating each other and I don’t think I want either of these things to happen. Maybe I would date him in few years but I do not want to now. What should I do?

    • Sorry never noticed this until now…. Honestly if he is an amazing guy, why not just date him? Nothing wrong with a relationship, are you just trying to protect yourself from hurt?

      From the sounds of it if you are hanging out and fucking you are already dating. If you find someone you can connect with and have good sex with it isn’t such a bad thing to date them. The only way you can end the personal attachment is to distance yourself from him. It’s not going to happen with ease.

      You have to have the “talk” and figure out what it is. If you don’t want a relationship I understand but you already likely have feelings for this guy, how could you not with all that time spent together? You have to sit down and say what it is you are looking for, that unfortunately you guys becoming friends means you can’t be fuck buddies. If he mentions friends with benefits you’ll have to let him know how you feel about that situation. I personally don’t like it because of the attachment, it really is open dating we just don’t like to say it.

      The only way through this one is open and honest communication. Telling him if you guys are friends you are friends, if you guys are fucking, then you guys are fuck buddies (you can lay out the rules from me if you’d like). If that is your black and white leave it at that, if you can see yourself dating don’t be upset when this guy gets snatched up by some chick, the dope people always get snatched up quickly.

      Simplify these situations, you don’t want a boyfriend so either he is a friend or fuck buddy, you’ve made him a friend it’s time to tell him the sex must be eliminated or you guys will be dating.

      Peace and Love

      Vic

      • YouveBeenWarned ⋅

        I’m in my second year of college, and I’m not sure how to go about finding a FB, like do you just go to bars and pick someone up? I’m more antisocial but would possibly enjoy having a FB. I was wondering if any1 could give me some tips.

  13. sara ⋅

    I am actually looking for this kind of thing but I agree that it requires sexual maturity or rather awareness. Knowledge that the release of endorphins during sex leads to emotions of attachment (love) is vital!!! I would add that a good fuck buddy would be a time limited one. Too long and someone is bound to develop some kind of emotional attachment whether they admit it or not.

    • Wow! Been a minute since I checked out this old blog. Yeah when I added a prequel to this blog I added that there is both a time limit and a quantity limit. I realized it was a mistake when I forgot it. Thanks for the appreciation!

      Peace and Love

      Vic

  14. Dollie ⋅

    Ok how can you end a fuck buddy relationship while still having the upper hand? He has it right now and I’m not good with other people controlling my emotions like he does so I want to just cut him out.

    • Ending a relationship like a fuck buddy is as simple as saying it like it is. “That was fun but unfortunately our moments have come to an end. I’m closing off contact with you because you are not someone good for me right now.” It will get a little more verbal but stick with it and say it’s over. Let him know that you’ve said your piece and made your decision and his feelings, etc. have no bearing on your decision.

      Peace and Love

      Vic

      • tfoste ⋅

        Be careful not to burn any bridges. Sometimes old f buddies can be good for a roll in the hay when you have no one else.

  15. bob ⋅

    U r correct . Still waiting for my first encounter . I love to Fuck ,but have not been able to for 15 years cuz I don’t know anyone . Please help .

    • If you want any help with girls my entire website is based on courtship, hooking up, and getting you to understand and read the courtship process with ease. It talks about becoming more attractive and getting laid.

      Unfortunately you have to put yourself out there and get rejected a bit. If you want some serious advice feel free to contact me through my website.

      Peace and Love

      Vic

  16. Anon

    I tried doing the FWB/FB and only really had it work for a bit in my late 20s. It was never quite regular though, it was more of messing around a few times with one girl, then go to another girl because there would be some snafu. I also found in my earlier 20s it wouldn’t work at all because I was less emotionally stable.

    But even in the recent situation, I really wanted a relationship, so then I found the girl of my dreams and ended up with her. I think it helps to practice seducing girls / having game, because then when you find a great person, your odds are upped. But on the other hand you have to stay genuine, whether when hunting for sexy girls, with casual sex, or in a relationship.

    The worst (and most unattractive) is when people are not true to themselves. For example, I am a guy who is very geeky, yet career successful, and ripped due to interests such as rock climbing. I can’t pretend to not be geeky or to act less intelligent, but I can have good body language, be friendly, straightforward, communicate well, and find connections with friends/lovers. The trick is to improve the minor issues you have, not the fundamentals that make you who you are.

    As I get older, I think most of the equation is just communicating well. If you can communicate effectively, as a man or woman, and are genuine, you can get pretty much whatever you want — running the gamut from the 1950s nuclear family to cross-dressing swinger lifestyle. Nowadays I’m looking to have a threesome with my girl and another girl since she’s curious about girls. We probably can achieve it.

    • Great write up! It fits my style completely but don’t confuse friends with benefits with fuck buddies they aren’t the same thing. It is very difficult to get one of these relationships. It takes a special type of woman to be able to handle it.

      I believe that getting good with woman starts with being good at who you are, It’s always very important to understand and know what makes man attractive (including an attractive man’s habits).

      Peace and Love

      Vic

  17. avia ⋅

    Well I was in a relationship with him. I’m not sure if we are fuck buddies cause we do talk drring the day , we do kiss n hug when we’re around each other . We don’t use protection that’s on his term&he loves when I spend the night or all day with him.
    .
    But there are some things that give him that quality of a fuck buddy like no more than 3 times a week I don’t know if that’s just him or if he us keeping t status.

    • He’s not a fuck buddy and he doesn’t seem to consider you a fuck buddy but a relationship. 3 times a week can be a limitation because of his time or yours.

      Most girls I’ve dated I had a hard time finding 3 nights we could hang out anyways. Don’t think just because you have limited time he doesn’t think of you as more.

      He seems to grant you a lot of intimacy for a gentlemen who would be just a fuck buddy.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  18. Umlau ⋅

    Wow. You basically took out all the fun in sex. Good luck finding “better” sex, since it will never be good enough for you in the back of your mind.

    • How so? Explain how that is possible? This is for people who aren’t looking for a relationship, if you were looking for a relationship obviously sex is tons better with someone you are passionate about.

      I see no problem with looking to always up the euphoric experience, sex can get better with someone you care a great deal about.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  19. tfoste ⋅

    I agree with most things you wrote but as a woman who isn’t interested in the headache of a relationship having someone around who will take you out for a meal then come back to my place for a good shag is important. Only low class men don’t treat a lady to a dinner first. I’ve had a f buddy for a year with this method. It was great. We were free to come and go as we pleased no pressure. If any woman reads this and is thinking about getting an Buddy. REQUIRE dinner (not every time if ur hooking up several times a week, I find that two dinners a month is more than enough so I can plan other dates with men) and make plans for after your “date” if you think you will be upset with him for leaving after sex. And ALWAYS keep your options open. You may be tempted to settle because you have found a good thing, but remember, it could end at any second. Have some people lined up to take you out and treat you like a lady. You wont miss a beat if you play it smart.

    • You want a boyfriend not a fuck buddy, there is a difference, I understand your point but the only point of the relationship is good sex, not emotional intimacy. You talk about not wanting the headache of a relationship, but then you want to spend time with them, This is blunt and I apologize but your lying to yourself about what you want. The truth is you want a good guy to date who will treat you right, and give you the sex you need at the same time. I agree with that, it’s natural. The problem is you think or want to think you don’t want the complications, your actions speak far louder than your words.

      If I was dating a woman things would be different but since the goal is only to fulfill each others’ sexual desires that is the relationship, you can not and should not complicate it with other things or move on to dating. There is nothing wrong with dating, I’m absolutely for it but to sit there and say it is low class when a man won’t treat a dinner to first is absolutely misconstruing the point of the relationship, it isn’t about anything more than fulfilling your primal sexual desires.

      Either you want a fuck buddy or you want to date a guy, the choice is simple but don’t act like you don’t want more if you ask for more. Your actions will lead them down the wrong path, asking for dinner twice a week is dating, not fucking.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

      • Lex ⋅

        As a woman, I agree with Vic. When you are in a fuck buddy relationship, you don’t demand/require for more than anything besides sex. JUST SEX. Flat out. Now, if you want some sort of a socializing activity like dinner dates every once in a while, then what you might want Friends with benefits. In a fuck buddy relationship, you don’t REQUIRE anything, there’s no caring nor dinner dates at all anytime in the relationship. Well, you can maybe go out & watch a movie, order in pizza, step out for a quick bite in between fucking sessions, but it’s definitely NOT NECESSARY to do those things with a fuck buddy. Again, NOT NECESSARY.

  20. To fuck or not to fuck, that is the question ⋅

    This is a great set of rules! I have a fantastic opportunity I’m considering. The question is whether I can actually DO it without getting emotionally attached.

    My vagina and other parts say “Hell yes!”

    If I knew for sure that I could, dude would be here post haste and we’d be fucking like rabbits. I’m not at all interested in HIM emotionally, but I do want the brass ring in my life eventually.

    He’s actually much younger than I am and seems very immature – at least from what I can tell during the 2 minutes (5 minutes max) we’ve discussed anything non-sex related.

    Downsides – he has told me he has a girlfriend but they are not “committed” – needless to say, I can’t confirm this with her. He has no objections to taking an STD test and has told me what he’d like to do with me to the point that I can’t concentrate. So hot!

    We work near one another and did meet up for a few stolen minutes so I know we’d be compatible and it would be delicious, but damn if I’m not so heart centered that my heart stirred with the kiss. *Sigh*

    I still want it, but the inconvenient truth is that I want it all – the relationship, the love, the whole bit – just not from him.

    The pros are that it would wake me up – I’ve been hibernating for a long time and haven’t thought of myself as desirable. This guy has made it clear that I’m very desirable. Taking him on as a fuck buddy could be fun and has the potential to boost my confidence and self esteem. I’ve already noticed myself walking a little taller just from the interaction we’ve had so far…

    The danger is that, given my track record, I could get attached even thought I KNOW we are not compatible for a full relationship, and that would suck because I might shatter into a thousand pieces if I end up in an unrequited love situation for the millionth time in my life – give or take.

    But then again he might be the one to fall, because the second I find the one who is the complete package, I’ll be gone. There is also the GF to think about. I wouldn’t want to hurt someone so don’t know if it’s okay to take his word for it not being a commitment. I know they are sexually involved but he’s stated that he doesn’t even know if he likes the sex in that relationship too much.

    My brain has ruled this involvement out as a possibility, but my body says “Hell no, you’re not passing this up, practical girl!”

    I’ve had only one purely sexual relationship in my life . He was my sexual mentor ten years older than I was. This guy is ten years younger. My experience with the mentor was awesome, and I walked away after a long time of awesome fucking with a smile on my face and no regrets. I’ve also had a one night stand or two that were fine, a marriage in which I was repulsed by my husband sexually by the time we divorced, and – the troubling part – a host of unrequited love relationships where I craved the love of these guys (and one man) but was never involved with them sexually. They just weren’t into me.

    I’m 41 and I just want to fuck. I know if I have it once I’m going to want it over and over. Dude has said we could do this for a long time, and there isn’t enough time in one night to try all of the scenarios he’s come up with. I want to experience all of them (HOT!) .

    So – the two drawbacks. My concern about the GF, and my history of unrequited love relationships. Do I have the backbone to keep it purely platonic? I know you can’t answer that, but if anyone has experience with this and has mastered the art of sexual pleasure for its own sake after being concerned that they couldn’t do it, please do share your secrets!

    One last piece – I grew up in a religious setting that said “one man for one woman for one lifetime.” I’ve worked through the shame around my sexual history and feel that I’m pretty much over that, but it’s possible it could come into play with my psyche.

    Thoughts?

    • Wow doll, I’d say you may be complicating this some, the goal is to enjoy what it is. End it as it becomes more if that isn’t what you want, if it is then you approach it.

      Personally I wouldn’t based on the relationship, it is in my nature to avoid hurting others if I can(or if it is best for them). In my experiences even in an open relationship someone gets hurt. I know this message is a bit late but the truth is you know what you want, go for what you want and don’t settle for less. Yeah if he can “fill your slot” for now it sound appealing but if you are aware that you may hurt yourself I’d be very careful.

      You seem like a woman who has a lot up top, so be careful not to complicate things by getting in your own head. If you can limit it to nothing more than a nightly appearance where you lay down the rules and limit the appearances you can use this to fulfill your sexual desires but always be aware of whether you want him just sexually or not.

      I hope that helps sorry to be so late….

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

      • To fuck or not to fuck, that is the question ⋅

        Hey, Thanks Vic!

        You’re right, my mind can complicate things. I sent it out for smokes…

        I ended up going for it and am learning how to separate out my old stories (no longer needed) from the pure pleasure of a weightless, string free fuck buddy experience. Wow, am I glad I did! (Amazing sex – really!)

        In the end there was no real question. The fucking was a foregone conclusion – there was just no way we weren’t going there. Thanks for the rules – they’ve been a great guideline!

        I had no idea how healing a purely sexual relationship could be. So many amazing things seem to be happening in my life OUTSIDE of the Fuck Buddy relationship – it’s mind boggling.

        xoxoxo
        Happily Fucking for Fuck’s Sake

  21. smo2912

    Victor
    I love this.cause I’m going through this now. With my Fb feelings have develop on my side cause one we not protect an he eats like Damn. Yea yea.. I’m think thus could b more trying nit to get my feeling involved cause I was the one that said I didn’t want a relationship but our sex is beyond sex cause its nit two pumps an swirl but its hours of more kissing an taken time..we talk before an after.. he just got unmarried in may an I been single for a while.. idk what to do I have not told my feelings an neither has he an we haven’t talked in two days…he talk to people around me but not me

    • Well, it would be very hard for someone who just got divorced to move into more but if the sex is phenomenal he may have a hard time giving you up…. Don’t hurt yourself more and more with time, make sure to be honest with yourself.

      After you figure out what you want and you are honest with yourself you need to tell him, it wouldn’t be fair to you or him not to. Communication is necessary in every relationship, honesty is especially necessary when it comes to emotions in a purely sexual relationship, just be careful not to hurt yourself because you are holding back. Be sure to step out of yourself and make a rational decision long term not based on temporary emotional or physical relief.

      Hope that helps….

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  22. Mia ⋅

    I have a question…. My current fuck buddy’s my ex slash best friend. He knows I still have feelings for him. But still… We have sex. It’s all for fun of course. This we agreed on from the beginning. But we’ve been fuck buddies for like 3 years now and its only getting better and better. What are your opinions about it? I can’t seem to get over him. I’ve simply gotten used to not involving any feelings, well, showing it at least. Thanks!

    • Sounds like you guys are already dating and just haven’t said it. Either you want more or you don’t. I’d say you want more. Communication is essential and honestly I would just come out and say it as afraid as you are, and yes I understand how hard it is to expose yourself to someone, it can be terrifying because you don’t know what they want but you are only hurting yourself more and more by not saying anything. I know you have avoided exposing your feelings but you are only human and he needs to understand where you are at.

      If you don’t want more in my experiences the only way to get rid of the “feelings you catch” is to stop talking to them. Tell them my emotions for you are so strong that I can’t be around you for a while until I get myself back to who I am(yes I’ve said this pretty much exact). You can’t let your emotions die if you are constantly thinking about him because you are with him…The only way I’ve ever got over women is avoiding them for a period of time until I was no longer attached. Which could be a few months or even a year… So keep that in mind.

      I hope that helps.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  23. CAWhite

    I have a long distance fuck buddy. I did inform him I’m having feelings. He hasn’t reciprocated nor has he stopped communicating. I even conveyed it to him 2 more times in different ways. He hasn’t bowed out or stepped up. He just continues to linger. As I grow more and more bored with it.

    • Then move on and find a another (I apologize for the late reply), or find someone to be in a relationship that fulfills your needs. However don’t stick around something that isn’t worth it, he is looking for more than you. More invested let him know he’s wasting his time or you must escalate the relationship.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  24. artpost

    I’m a woman and I enjoy having sex. I have had numerous offers from guys to be a fuck buddy. However I’m not sure I’d enjoy it. For me, the hotness of sex comes from the feeling that I am desired and special. I’m a romantic, what can I say? Still, it really seems like there is a market for this whole fuck buddy thing, and so as not to get too attached and ruin it, I was thinking of maybe charging the guy a fee, you know, doing it as a paid service or something…thoughts?

    • Hey Artpost,
      That is what we would refer to as the oldest profession in the world – Prostitution, don’t church it up with fuck buddy. :) But seriously the only payment should be phenomenal sex, countless orgasms with no attachment. If your fuck buddy doesn’t desire you an a special intimate primal sexual way he isn’t what you are looking for. The sex with women I’ve been fuck buddies with was always very passionate and most of the time the entire experience (foreplay and all) lasted for at least a couple of hours. It is all about the euphoria of good sex, without the responsibility of a relationship to tend to.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

      • artpost

        Oh, I don’t see what is so wrong about taking money for sexual favors. I mean, yes, if you are manipulating someone who is in love with you, that’s not nice. But most people looking for a fuck buddy are less emotional about it. As a woman who just loves emotional, loving sex, but who has a lot of guys after me for strictly physical sex, a little incentive such as a nice dinner or a gift (financial or otherwise) goes a long way toward getting me interested and excited about it. The result is better sex, and less likelihood of me developing clingy feelings for my partner, a win-win for everyone as far as I’m concerned.

      • I don’t see at wrong, prostitution is just a regular part humanity, really just regular human behavior to me, it exists in every country in the world, regardless of it being legal or not.

        My point is this if you want to be a prostitute be a prostitute, if you want to be in a relationship find one. If however you want to charge for sex and be buddies you are missing the point. This is about exchanging good sex without attachment, money is a form of attachment. You are trying to get more than the other person, that is unacceptable from the whole “buddy” thought. Either choose to have sex with out attachment and be a fuck buddy or choose to have a type of relationship requiring finances, or reciprocated feelings(regular relationship). Don’t say however you want to be a paid fuck buddy, just be straight, you want to be a prostitute. Don’t lie to me or yourself and you’ll be much better off.

        Peace and Love,

        Vic

  25. Ahaa, its fastidious discussion regarding this article here at this blog, I have read all that, so at this time me also commenting at this place.

  26. artpost ⋅

    Vic, you are either very serious about the responsibilities of a “buddy” or else you just love a freebie!! Hmmm…I wonder which one it is?

    This is not the fifties dating world any more, and we women have got to get better at expressing what we want! So if he asks you to be a fuck buddy, just ask him to take you to a nice dinner first! You’d be surprised how many men are willing to spoil us a little. Good luck, peace and love!

    • Freebie? You’ve never fucked a guy like me or you’d say differently, you are extraordinarily confused dear. I’m not against taking a girl to dinner but you yourself admitted feelings and attachment happens when you do things, a relationship is a relationship, a fuck buddy is a fuck buddy. You just read this blog and now you are questioning it. I’ve taken girls to dinner but this blurs the lines between a relationship and a fuck buddy, I’m not against dating a girl but I know the difference between the two. You DON’T!

      You don’t even understand the context of the relationship yet you seem to be attempting to lecture me on it? The context of the relationship isn’t dinner, it isn’t money, it is pure unadulterated phenomenal sex with ZERO attachments (something you seem to be limited on). Honestly stop with the bullshit, you don’t want a fuck buddy get over it. I see it written in your words.

      Either you want to date a guy or fuck a guy stop confusing the two. Go be a prostitute if you want. Wake up out the 50s you don’t need dinner to fuck, just arousal.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

    • Oh I get it, you don’t know what phenomenal sex is like, never mind my previous post… Sorry if you had phenomenal sex you wouldn’t need anything in return it would be it’s own reward. You seem to feel like you are giving more than you are getting, this is why the key to a good fuck buddy relationship is phenomenal sex. Neither partner should feel “short changed” after the experience.

      Sorry for misunderstanding that you don’t know what it is like to have sex and have 20+ orgasms without attachment(yes I have given multiple fuck buddies 20 + orgasms that were shorter and longer orgasms, even anchored them to orgasm so they could cum on demand).

      My bad.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

      • To fuck or not to fuck, that is the question ⋅

        Oh – I’ve gotta go with Vic here (and I’m female). When you have the right fuck buddy, everybody gets paid in kind – ha! And I think if you want to charge for sex, you’re probably not as into sex as you believe yourself to be.

  27. To fuck or not to fuck, that is the question ⋅

    So I’ve been wondering… is my fuck buddy spoiled for life? And then I thought “Hey, I’ll ask Vic!”

    I’ve had this pretty great thing going but now it seems my FB has become completely addicted to my blow jobs – it’s like he’s on crack and it’s all he wants to do (he even said he’s addicted to them). Now – don’t get me wrong – I completely dig giving them and get off on getting him off, but a girl’s gotta have some attention, too.

    So I was getting annoyed and thinking it may be time to bow out, but then it occurred to me that I’ve not been very vocal about what I want. Touch me here, fuck me there – you know – so I thought I’d give it a try. And maybe go on strike with the blow jobs temporarily.

    Thoughts?

    Thanks!

    • Yeah, I personally prefer going down on women over getting blow jobs because most women aren’t as talented as you at blow jobs, I feel most are pretty horrid overall.

      Being Vocal is obviously essential in any relationship but it is very important in getting what you want sexually. Basically you need to say something like “hey you know I love pleasing you, I love giving you great head, but I also appreciate how you (eat me, fuck me, etc.)” If you joke a bit in bed too, you can add a girl needs loving too.

      You need to let him know that you need your needs fulfilled as well, that it isn’t just one way. Reciprocation is essential, he needs to give you what you give him, otherwise in my opinion I’m with you on bowing out. Perhaps he is just forgetting about you, sometimes it is ignorance and sometimes it is selfishness.

      Put his hands where you want them waist, neck, breasts, etc. tell him how much you enjoy how he touches you in whatever place, make him eager to please you (this may mean complicate some of his strong points so he’ll be sure to focus on them) if he isn’t move on plenty of cocks in the sea as Snarky would put it.

      I wouldn’t be against the concept of you going on a boycott for giving bjs if he isn’t going to grant you the same favors. Just be sure to communicate what you are doing or he won’t behave to repair his behaviors.

      You can even say “the last few times it’s been all about you and I love giving you good head, I want to have a me night though. I want you to fulfill a fantasy I have where you just listen to everything I say without ever questioning it. Just pay attention to me and pamper me sexually.”

      I’ve been meaning to put up a sex coaching article for awhile now, perhaps I’ll get one up tomorrow for you.

      Hit me up at my email if you’d like @ victor@thescienceofnaturalgame.com if you’d like to discuss any specific thing.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

  28. artpost

    Yesterday, as I was blindfolded and squirting all over my bed with my newest (whether he’ll be a fuck buddy or a boyfriend, I’m not so sure yet), two prior fb’s left messages on my phone. Yes, I know how it feels to have orgasms so numerous that they flow together and I feel like my heart is going to stop.

    Just sayin….

    But maybe you are right, Vic, and it is time for me to stop thinking about love…and get tougher. Love is what I have always known and it was my introduction to really good sex, and my association with it, so I have clung to it fiercely.

    But lately, I have been feeling like a character in a zombie movie, where everyone else has replicated and chosen uncommitted sex, and I’ve still got the old DNA making me want love just because it’s familiar. And if I even found love, would I even appreciate it? I mean all it would earn me would be the right to hang around married couples. So maybe this is just the new reality.

    • Hey doll,

      Sorry to make that assumption, it just felt as though you weren’t understanding that sex is the reward, you were looking for all these other exchanges. Great sex, countless orgasms, thigh biting, chest biting, neck biting, hair pulling (done correctly), is what a good fuck buddy is all about. The reward is that you aren’t looking for much else other than satisfying your sexual desires. You don’t want the relationship for whatever reason (perhaps a protected person like me, just go out of a relationship, been hurt, etc.) Perhaps this is what you need is a temporary hiatus from relationships and just pure good uncommitted sex.

      I’m not against love, don’t let me talk you out of it. I’m a bit of romantic myself, if I could find a woman that had that “it” I am looking for I’d be as locked up as any other person. I’m a family kind of guy, my nephew was just born a few weeks ago and I won’t lie I was a little jealous.

      I certainly understand it, plenty of women I’ve met struggled having orgasms with men they weren’t dating. It isn’t unusual to be this way but this is also why I said to avoid certain types of people (to avoid hurting them as well as yourself) in the second fuck buddy article I wrote.

      I do love your metaphor, ironically I’m on the exact opposite boat, all of my friends are settling down to get married, kids, and I’m still the ultra self-protected guy who struggles to let women in (mostly because I’m terrified of hurting myself), running through women, trying not to get too close because I don’t want to hurt them as well as me. I’m actually ready for a relationship right now but planning on moving 3 states away so I’ve avoided committing to anything.

      Peace and Love,

      Vic

      • artpost

        No hard feelings (well maybe a few hard feelings, for me please Vic?). Yes, I’ve had great sex and terrible sex too. I admit that I have had more good sex committed but have begun to have it with casual encounters too. Everything I can do sexually I have learned on my own. I know my body very very well. When I first have sex with a guy I get him to watch me masturbate first, so he gets it.

        And again, you are right. I probably do need to have some more great uncommitted sex experiences to really begin to get in the groove, though I have begun to have better ones, for example this weekend :-). Anyway I feel better about our exchange here. Good writing helps people to understand themselves, and you have convinced me, so I guess you are a good writer!

        peace and love, or just fucking.

  29. Finding a local fuck buddy online is certainly the way forward. You just have to know where to look. If I could show you how you can have a real fuck buddy in your bed tonight, along with many many more friends with benefits that would last a life time would that help you at all? Don’t waste your time or your money learning how to attract women, find a friends with benefits now, invite her over and get laid tonight as an alternative to 3 weeks from now!

  30. hari shanker ⋅

    i want fuck hardly with girl

  31. I will delete your post hon. No worries.

  32. Pingback: Permafrost or Sobbing at Dawn | Alice Thierry

  33. Reblogged this on The Reinvention of Man and commented:
    I think there is some good advice here for those so inclined.

  34. Pingback: 11 Tips To Keep You Fucking Your Fuck Buddy | Keep Your Panties Up and Your Skirt Down

  35. Zohan ⋅

    I thought I would reblog this but mine is sort of pg13 content :) but I appreciate you visiting and your massive coarseness about fuck buddies !! :-D

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