Can Men & Women Be Friends Without Fucking?

    As friends we’ve been skirting around this issue for months.  I’m not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into a conversation before I just blatantly say…. I WANT TO FUCK YOU.

l’ll admit it, I have poor impulse control when it comes to fucking men. Especially some of the men that I call “friends.” As Joe Cocker would say, I get by with a little help from my friends. That does of course exclude times when I am in relationship and there are other exceptions too. Like gents who are put into the “brother zone” within the first 15 minutes of a meet n greet. Ahh… the phrase that launched a thousand instant softees: You remind me of my brother.  (Cock Sigh).

   I tend to surround myself with attractive people with technicolor personalities. I don’t require a head shot or audition proving how attractive or cool they are in becoming friends with me, it just works out that way. Fostering a new friendship takes time and effort…and let’s admit it, sometimes we’re a little more eager to do so if we’re also picturing our new friend naked.  Take my friend Joey, for example. The kind of guy cock molds were made for. Simply put he makes a donkey;s cock seem like a fuck in the park. Joey exudes sexuality.  He is a tasty morsel that is drenched in fuck me.  Joey has an usual combination of Stanley Kowalski esque torque and unbridled sensitive sensuality.

Now be that as it may, I have never had sex with Joey. Of course that doesn’t mean I never thought of it and it sure as hell doesn’t mean I have never seen him naked. Not that I require all my friends to strip down upon entering the Snatch Cave (though a better house rule to impose than taking off one’s shoes). Joey and I actually started going down the fuck me road when we first met. But despite our initial attraction, my vagina couldn’t endorse the union.  Joey, in many ways is the male version of me. I suppose that’s where the true attraction lies…. we all know how in love with myself, I am! But the kind of torque that we have between us, has a tendency of either burning out or coming to a fiery end, with inevitably someone getting hurt in the process. So instead, we concentrate on channeling that spark into an amazing chumship.

Joey has been a stellar friend, especially during a time when I’ve been sick and needed someone the most. When a bad boy trounces my heart, he is there. He gets me in a bigger way than most boyfriends have.  I cherish my friendship with him.  But still I have my moments of wondering if a simple, platonic hug could instantaneously take on a more amorous meaning. Moments of being still attracted to him. Moments I have to remind myself that we are just friends.

So that got me wondering…. can a man and a woman be just friends without having the urge to fuck one another? My answer? 

Hell to the NO!! Case in point… Harry Met Sally.

And the timing of me stumbling onto this interview couldn’t have been more perfect:

   Yeah, 99.9% is right! I know this! Most women know this! We stock pile reserve cock like we are chicken breeders. Women know that most of our male friends would have sex with us in a heartbeat.  We know it in ourselves as well.

In another apartment, 30 minutes away…. a gent I’ve been dating hangs with a former girlfriend.  He has told me on more than one occasion how perfect they were when together, a “perfect fit” he sighed.  Beau tells me the only reason they aren’t together is because long distance prevents that from happening.  Now the beau reassures me they are just friends.  He tries to make me feel secure in knowing they both have moved on in wanting a relationship with each other.  But years of fuck me friendships with my exes tells me otherwise.   Even if the beau has moved on from the relationship, how can he be sure she authentically has?  How does he know she isn’t just waiting in the wings for me to fuck up, so she can insert herself as the “perfect fit” again?

My vagina tells me that the only reason an ex girlfriend has for being a friend with you, is to remind you of the last time your cock was inside her vagina.  Women are patient creatures and can entertain themselves with their own vagina for months, until you can come to the conclusion on your own that your exes vagina…. was the most tightest, wettest, snappiest, warmest, smoothest, tastiest, enjoyable pussy you have ever sampled.  We devise subtle tactics of letting you THINK, you came to that conclusion all by yourself.  Here is a break down of tactics ex-girlfriends use (under the guise of “friendship”) to get you back into their vagina:

THE HANGING VAGINA – This strategy is used by vaginas who think that even though you have broken up, if they remain your gal pal by continuing to hang around, they will eventually convince you that they are worthy of a second chance.  They may appear patient but will use opportunities like “can you tag along to help me find a new bra” or “you want to workout together?” as a means to remind you that the vagina you once banged, is also attached to a pair of tits that you once sucked on at great length.  And possibly those tits, remain better than the ones you are currently nibbling on.

THE WAITING VAGINA– This tactic is the most common.  Vaginas who secretly desire you and are just biding their time hoping to catch you in a moment of weakness.  They may use alcohol to try to create those “moments of weakness.”  But a note of caution:  Alcohol is to sex – as Hamburger Helper is to ground beef – it fools you into thinking you are getting something more substantial.

THE SAVE ME VAGINA – These are the vaginas who are in a bad relationship with another dude and are in constant state of needing to be rescued. They never miss an opportunity to tell you how much they are suffering so you can either be their white knight on a horse, or cajole you into talking shit about your current romantic situation.  Experienced vaginas fain emergencies so you will drop everything to help save them from themselves.They are operating on the premise that you will eventually see the light & choose to improve your world by sleeping with them once again.

THE HATING VAGINA – These are the vaginas who are friends with your lover, who constantly drop negative hints about your gal to you – never directly saying anything but always leaving you wondering if you are making a damn fool out of yourself. These vaginas figure that if they can break you guys up then they’ll be a shoe-in for your attentions.  They will enthusiastically nod in agreement when you suspect your girl might be stepping out on you. She might even cough up some “said” proof, your gal told her in confidence.  She will put you in situations that may create friction in your current relationship, like pretending to be drunk so you need to drive her home. She will stroke your ego to inflation, until her vagina has the chance to stroke your actual cock again.

TRUE KATS – These vaginas are actually your friends. They are the real deal in every way with one exception – every now and then they make a suspect statement or comment which raises your eyebrows just a little. You always brush it off because ‘that’s just how she is.’ The truth of the matter is that vagina is revealing her true intentions to you which are “If you let me, I will suck you so hard, that you will forget your name.” They are really waiting, they aren’t trying to break you up, they don’t bad mouth anybody (unless she is a crazy bitch troll from Hell and is treating you badly) & if they never fuck you again, they are okay with it – but they have to keep you subtly informed that their snatch is on deck ready to service you if the time is right.

Like women, after breaking up men don’t want to be just our friends. When they say they are our friends, it is just Latin for… if your vagina needs servicing I am there. I am not saying that men are that shallow and don’t actually have authentic caring relationships with us. I am just saying that they like us a lot more because we have vaginas attached to that friendship.

Many of my exes (who are close friends) seem to feel they have a time share in my vagina. I can’t say I blame them, since they had spent a lot of time there. I absolutely believe some of them are waiting in the wings for me to ring that vaginal dinner bell for them to be up to snatch buffer for ole’ time sake. 

One of my ex beau’s and closest male friend,  likes to give me relationship advice. But I’m not sure he is always objective.  Seems like every guy I date, just isn’t good enough for the Katster.  Not like he was.  Not like he could be still?

But if you care so much for me, why do you want me to go through the heartache of breaking up with someone I have intense feelings for? Is it really because he is such a bad bloke and you would treat me a gazillion times better? Well, if that is true… why the hell did we break up in the first place? But a more important question.. what if he isn’t such a bad guy?”

Perhaps you are one of those guys operating with a hidden agenda. Scamming on another man’s woman under the guise of being a “friend.”  Hmmm?….

 So chime in… do you think?